About ClaytonBye

Clayton Bye is a long-time writer, editor and publisher. He has authored 8 books, published an anthology called Writers on the Wrong Side of the Road and reviewed many hundreds of other books. He offers a wide range of writing & editing services. Visit www.claytonbye.com.

The Immortalists by Kyle Mills: a thriller truly modern in its making.

The Immortalists
 Kyle Mills
Thomas & Mercer, 2011
ISBN: 9781612181509
Trade Paperback
320 Pages
Thriller/Science Fiction

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The Back Cover / Plot

What would you do to save the life of your child?

Microbiologist Richard Draman thought he’d answered this question when he walked away from his career to focus on curing a genetic defect that is causing his daughter to age at a wildly accelerated rate. Just when Richard and his wife Carly force themselves to recognize that eight-year-old Susie’s time is running out, they receive an unexpected gift—startling new research into the fundamental secrets of life that could be the answer to their prayers.

When Richard is accused of stealing the research that was sent to him, he takes his family on the run, seeking out a retired special-forces operative and old friend to help dig up the truth behind the controversial experiments. Determined to either save Susie’s life or die trying, the Dramans plunge into a bloody conflict between two powerful factions vying for control of a discovery that could change the face of humanity.

The Review

The Immortalists is an interesting book, which is a high compliment from me. And I believe I can make a good case for supporting it. Kyle Mills has taken pieces from different stories and ideas and put them all together in something that works. It’s a story that races downhill, never stopping until you hit the surprise at the end (Science Fiction buffs might see shades of Darwin’s Radio). His protagonist is someone we can identify with—sometimes. The wife is the perfect portrait of a modern mother-earth: loving, kick-ass but showing cracks and signs of strain. The bad guys are bad. Psychos. Dead in their hearts. A trademark I was looking for.

You see, I still remember The Second Horseman. In that book, Mills takes an anti-hero and tries to see how far he can make him go in the direction of self-sacrifice. He must be brought to emotion, which is the exact opposite of Richard Draman in The Immortalists. Draman is pushed and twisted until he ceases to care, until he starts a war where only one man will be left standing at the end. What? A protagonist who becomes, for all appearances, one of the bad guys? Somehow, I see this as Kyle Mills trademark. He can take things we have seen in life or on tv or have read in a book and twist them like no other, just to see how far they will bend.

So, you read and you feel like you’ve been here before; but you haven’t. The world of The Immortalists is filled with people who care so much, their emotions are burning them out. And the bad guys are stone cold, even when facing their own deaths. The crazy men are so many alien creatures cackling through the night, ready to crunch all beneath their feet—unless Richard Draman can beat them at their own game. And to quote a friend, I didn’t even mention “the goddamned GMOs.”

The Immortalists, may, on the surface, seem like another one of those paper cutter bestsellers you might read on the plane or take to the beach, a 3 star book at best. But I see growth in Kyle Mills’ writing. I see a story with a lot more going on than the effortless and high-paced read suggests. I’ve thought hard about it, and while I might have been unsure the first time around, this time Kyle Mills gets 4.5 stars. The Immortalists is a thriller truly modern in its making.

Copyright © Clayton Clifford Bye 2012

 

Cruelty to Innocents: The First Novel in the 911 Abductions Series by CK Webb & DJ Weaver


Cruelty to Innocents
by CK Webb & DJ Weaver
Suspense Publishing
ISBN: 0615508766
Kindle eBook
Thriller

Great concept. The story pace was fast, almost too fast. I would have liked to see a longer story with more character development and suspense. In the end, though, everything seemed to work, making this compact thriller a story many are sure to enjoy.

Criticisms: the editing was just not up to par, a problem many self-published books fail to avoid. Past and present tenses were mixed together or improperly used. A much smaller issue was misspelling, usually due to dropped letters. As I don’t know who the editor and proof readers were, I suspect the writers themselves. And I understand how difficult the job of self-editing is; I’ve been there. Especially when it’s your debut novel.

So how do I sum up Cruelty to Innocents? The loss of a child, anyone’s child, makes me physically ill. Webb and Weaver wrote down to this fear, then showed it to us. That’s great writing. And because of the short length of the novel, the sense of panic and hurt and anger never really dissipated. I understand that this is both a mimicking of real life terror and a plot tool to keep this story raging along. These are all good things, and Cruelty to Innocents nailed them!

Then why only 3.5 stars? Very simply, the length. This could easily have been a much better book. If it had been longer, a greater suspect pool could have been written in (allowing for mystery as well as suspense, to give one example). Using the same “If,” the main characters could have been developed through actions rather than thoughts and emotions, that oft-broken rule of “showing rather than telling.” Basically, we’re just beginning to know Sloanne and Shawn at the end of the novel. Perhaps this was intended, as the authors have at least two more books planned for this series.

Fast, attention-catching and filled with examples of strong writing, Cruelty to Innocents is also fundamentally flawed. But then Steven King was once referred to as “that hack!” and Asimov was derided for the simplicity of his stories and Robert Heinlein was chastised for writing fiction with all too apparent meaning. So I have no problem recommending Cruelty to Innocents. I also intend to read the next two books in the series; I suspect they will be better!

 

Copyright © Clayton Clifford Bye 2012

P.S.

I asked CK Webb if she wanted me to post the review you just finished reading. You see, I read the book on my own, and I write a review of every book I read (’cause I never know when I will need a review). CK is a brave soul and said sure. Then, to my amazement, she agreed to allow me to publish her initial response to my query and the review. I think it says as much about writing and writers as any review could…

“Ha! Never had someone ask me before they posted a review ;-)

I am okay with the review. It [the book] has gotten ripped apart for the editing, so it is not something I haven’t seen before. I appreciate you taking time to read it and write a review, so by all means, please do post it to The Deepening.

Cruelty was written in the early part of 2009, and I don’t have a problem saying we didn’t have a clue back then. The book was sent off to an editor who we believed, at the time, was quite capable… she really was not. Collecting Innocents [the 2nd book in a series of 3] was sent off for professional editing and it shows BIG TIME.

Live and learn kind of deal with Cruelty. Yet, it was the book we landed our agent with, and after we let her go, it was the book that was offered a contract by a traditional publisher. It is also the book that is being looked at for a film option. Believe me, I was totally embarrassed at the thought of movie types going through my book of bad edits, but something about the story must be standing out for them, and the situation looks extremely promising!

I hope you will get a chance to read book 2 in the series, and if you would like an e-copy, just let me know.

BTW, it was 100% my doing where the fast pace of the book is concerned. I also held back a bit on in-depth character development. And it was me who wanted the reader to be emotionally moved, a bit traumatized, disturbed and left with a feeling of ‘I have to know more.’ The storyline grows darker and a lot more psychologically and emotionally charged as it moves into Book 2, and you get a much bigger attachment to the characters in it. Book 3 gives you the ‘wham, bam’ and brings everything home. That is where everyone will see & understand my reasons for the pacing.

Again, thanks so much for reviewing Cruelty and doing so in an honest and open way…

It is greatly appreciated, Clayton!!

Darkmage by M.L. Spencer, a debut novel & epic fantasy

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Darkmage
Author: M.L. Spencer
Publisher: Stoneguard Publications (November 18, 2011)
ISBN-13: 978-0615567983
Trade Paperback: 560 pages
Genre: Epic Fantasy


Darkmage is a self-published, debut novel which asks the age-old question: just how far can you go with the idea that the end justifies the means? Determined to show us the fine line between good and evil, first-time author M.L. Spencer has penned a unique fantasy that’s wonderfully written and impeccably edited. Also, in my opinion, other than the use of one questionable plot device, there’s nothing of the author that gets in the way of the story. This is an accomplishment worthy of our   TD Recommended award…

 

 

 

The questionable plot device I just spoke of goes by a handful of names and may be unfamiliar to many readers. So, please, relax, and I’ll tell you all about it…

I prefer to call this oft  frowned upon plotting tool—The McGuffin. A favourite of the original Star Trek tv series, The McGuffin is something the heroes want passionately, or it’s a nameless horror they can’t seem to best. They may even be fleeing from it. “What was it, Spock?” is a phrase well remembered. Sometimes the answer was, “Perhaps we’ll never know,” and sometimes it was a bastardized Shakespearean quote, courtesy of Bones… “There are more things in heaven and earth, Spock, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” My memory of these phrases has no doubt been warped by time, but you get the idea, right? The McGuffin is a plot element designed to grab your attention or to drive the story, but it can be anything and it doesn’t have to ever “come on stage.” I used Star Trek as an example because so many of us fondly remember the crew of the Enterprise as they fought or helped or were chased by some strange, undefined creature. Often, we never found out what these “things” were. And it didn’t matter. They’d served their purpose of driving the story forward. They were the mysterious, meaningless, McGuffin.

But… this isn’t always how The McGuffin works. Sometimes The McGuffin isn’t ambiguous or undefined; sometimes it’s very, very real to the characters and the readers. My favourite McGuffin is one used by Stephen King. An entire novel was based on it. Care to guess? The novel was called Under The Dome.

In Darkmage by M.L. Spencer, there are actually 2 McGuffins. One is brilliant in its  construction and use. The other bothered me, and I know in my gut that its use made this brilliant debut sparkle a little less brightly.

At the beginning of the novel Darien Lauchlin is returning from years of exile to claim what’s rightfully his. He will complete what he has trained for all his life; Darien shall become a Sentinel, a great Mage and a sworn guardian of the land known as the Rhen. But… everything goes wrong as his brother opens a gate to Hell, right in the middle of the ceremony.

Throughout the rest of the story we are reminded again and again of The Well of Tears, the ghastly light that continues to shoot out of it and the evil creatures who may have used it to escape Hell. This is because Darien has sworn to close the well, no matter what the cost. After all, his brother had sacrificed the woman Darien loved, opened the gate to Hell and brought forth demons who destroyed his home and who killed every capable mage but Darien. However, we do not see the Well of Tears again until the concluding portion of the story. Why? The McGuffin has done its job, sending the plot forward at light speed.

The next McGuffin is The Enemy, who are needed to create a plausible threat to the Rhen and create problems Darien must solve, face or destroy before he’ll be free to close the Well of Tears. And so we have “the enemy,” who inhabit the impenetrable Black Lands and who have finally amassed an army capable of breaking through the Rhen’s defenses. Thus, Darien must create a plan so fantastic as to allow him to find an acolyte and turn him into a powerful mage in just a few, short weeks; devise a way to break free of the physical and mental chains that keep him from doing the kind of harm he must do if he’s to save his land and his people; then convince his own soldiers, then a king and a queen, too, so that they might appear to be falling back with their armies to a place where the enemy can converge on them from two directions at an exact moment, and at a place of Darien’s choosing.

This McGuffin is too obvious in its purpose, and this is why I have a problem with it. There are constant battles against this enemy throughout the entire novel, as The McGuffin pushes the plot to its desired end. Now, I think a well that spills yellow light into the sky and is never seen again until it is required in order to force the story to a close, is perfect use of this plot element. But a black-armoured army of faceless, nameless and never ending enemies? That doesn’t work for me. A clash between the good guys and the bad guys must involve the reader. It must make us believe there is a chance of failure. And a soldier shouldn’t fall because of a sword or arrow that came from nowhere. We want to see the green, yellow and red eyes of a demon-raised army of (possibly dead) warriors who can’t be killed–only stopped by beheading (*My example. This isn’t in the book).

So, in my opinion, M.L. Spencer lost the opportunity to bring much more vitality to her book. You see, by making the enemy as real to us as her own soldiers, this author would have brought  a whole other dimension to the story. And I’ll even tell you why this is so important. Darien plans from the very beginning of his nightmare to destroy the enemy army. Now, let’s say they’re a force of at least 100,000 individuals. In M.L. Spencer’s novel, that would just be a number and some words. But had we looked those enemies in the eyes, no matter how evil and deadly they might be, that number and those words would suddenly become people. No one wants to be a part of mass murder—even if the people are the enemy, even if those people might be the walking dead.

Enough! Despite the rather large error, I still find myself wanting to say “Hell of a first novel, M. L. Spencer! Just stay away from those no-good McGuffins. Do so, and the 4 stars you get today will easily become 5.

 

Copyright © Clayton Clifford Bye 2012

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

M.L. Spencer was born in 1971 in Redlands, CA. She fell in love with Fantasy fiction at the age of seven when her grandmother bought her the complete collection of Stephen R. Donaldson’s books. At thirteen she won First Place in the Writing Celebration and has been writing ever since. A high school science teacher, Ms. Spencer has a passion for nature, music, art and family. She lives not far from where she was born with her three children and her cornsnake, Rajah.

Now, M.L. Spencer gets a chance to tell you about Darkmage her way…


 

THE BACK COVER

The hope of the world rests in the hands of a Darkmage

The Well of Tears is open and the terror of the night has been unleashed. Now, the last Sentinel left alive with the power to defend his world against the minions of the Netherworld is a man destined to be corrupted into the image of what he hates. In the name of duty, Darien Lauchlin will see oaths forsaken, crowns toppled, friends sacrificed and the land he loves desecrated. For there is a very thin line between duty… and brutal inhumanity.

“A beautifully written tale that challenges our convictions of right and wrong.”


 

PLOT/THEME

When I set out to write Darkmage, my goal was to take a strong main character, break him down through a harsh serious of trials, and then reshape him into something completely in opposition to his moral integrity. So I came up with a plot that subjects my hero, Darien Lauchlin, to a slippery-slope descent into darkness, where every choice he makes seems to be the “right” decision at the time. Unfortunately, as in real life, seldom are such decisions as black-and-white as they seem.

The theme of the novel is an exploration in the moral and ethical choices we all make; specifically, how much evil should one commit in order to achieve a benevolent outcome? Each of Darien’s choices is made with the best of intentions?but all are morally questionable. After all is said and done, one can wonder if Darien hasn’t become a greater threat than the evil he fights against. Which is a big problem, as he happens to be his world’s only chance of salvation.
Darkmage  chronicles Darien’s plight he strives to save his people from the terrors his brother has unleashed by unsealing the Well of Tears, a gateway to the Netherworld. After his brother’s betrayal, Darien finds himself the only mage left alive capable of defending his homeland against an invading alliance between the ancient Enemy and eight darkmages released by the unsealing of the Well. But Darien’s hands are tied; he has sworn the Oath of Harmony, vowing to never use his power in the taking of a life. He is forced to choose between clinging to the moral traditions of his predecessors or forsaking them altogether and charting a course that can only result in him becoming the most dangerous power his world has ever known. Along with his acolyte, Kyel Archer, and Naia Seleni, a priestess of Death, Darien embarks on a perilous quest to turn back the invading armies and seal the Well of Tears. Ultimately, Darien must choose between abandoning his people to the devastation wrought by the Enemy or fully embracing the evil he opposes.